Sunday, September 30, 2012

Have You Lowered Your Expectations?

Years ago I heard that to avoid being disappointed that I should not have expectations. While at a certain level this makes sense, there is a big part of me that screams out in rebellion. After all, if I don't have expectations, how will I reach my goals? How will I know when I'm where I want to be? How will I know if things are meeting my standards?

I think many people have come to lower their expectations so as, well, not to expect too much. This happens out of politeness, it happens out of convenience but mostly, it happens out of fear. After all, if we have expectations and they aren't met, all we're left with is one big disappointment. So lowering your expectations kinda seems like you can have your cake and eat it too, doesn't it?

Yet, when it comes to your image, this isn't exactly the truth. Lowering your expectations when it comes to your style and how you want to present yourself may lead to less disappointment, but it can also lead to a low self-worth, holding yourself small and encouraging everyone else around you to hold yourself small as well.

You were born to shine. Not just twinkle, but SHINE. Out loud. In the spotlight.

I know what you're thinking. Not me. I don't want any attention. I just want to blend in. Well, let me tell you that I used to be in your shoes... and that you're dead wrong.

Say what? You heard me. I can't let you go on like this. Lowering your expectations. Chipping away at your self-image and your self-esteem. Looking like something that, years ago would have made you cringe, but now you just chalk up to being 'too busy' to mess with or too tired to care about.

Yeah. Let' s see where that gets you.

Think of a beautiful rose. It bursts into full bloom without holding back. It gives it everything it's got and then some, the way it was created to be. You weren't created to hide, but to blossom into your full beauty and potential. I want to help you do just that!

Why am I calling you out? Because I care. Because I love you. And because I have been there and done that and it is SO not where you belong.

I'll say it again. You were born to shine. You were born to be not mediocre, or okay, or nice. You were born to be GORGEOUS! BEAUTIFUL! FABULOUS! With no apologies. Yes, you.

Why? Because when you hold yourself small everyone around you holds themselves small too. Out of politeness. Especially in the south. Because we don't want to out-do each other, but mostly because we feel that it's really, truly wrong to be in the spotlight, or to even want to be.

But I want to tell it like it is. Until you can love yourself enough to step into the spotlight, you are holding yourself and everyone around you small too.

When you can embrace your beautiful self, warts and all, and love every inch of you and present yourself in a way that enhances your beauty, you make God proud. He didn't create you to be mediocre and put yourself at the bottom of your list. When you don't take care of you, who will?

So SHINE, dammit! (I don't curse often, so please pardon my French) Raise your expectations. Hold yourself accountable and don't let yourself go. It doesn't take a king's ransome or all the time in the world to look good, or even your best. I'm not talking red-carpet ready, but a realistic version of yourself that's more than what you've been settling for.

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